Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Long Distance Boy-Girlfriend Relationship (BGR)

Tediaaaaa. Corny right? I was scrolling #lovedone's Instagram and suddenly I started to noticed something weird there. So, today's post is wrote up emotionally. I might get high due to some crazy and mixed up feelings. Just hoping he'll see right through this entry.

The biggest challenge is the distances. Sometimes I feel like a fool for being alone and there's no one to turn to. I can't simply give a call to him because he also got his own work's commitment. I proud of that as well, since I'm a  big girl now. I think I can be mature enough compare to early days. The key is trust. But the damn things is, I can get impulsive so easily. We were doing good on our own when my mood swing suddenly turn on. If that is happened, I used to turned off my phones, deactivated my Facebook, blog and Instagram and any other way of communication medium. I don't know. It just happened in that way. I guess that is the best way for me to calm down. Seem siaw right? Cutting all way to get connected for the sake of clear heads off. But then, when both of us were in Malaysia, we both try to avoid to talk about any sensitive issues that might lead us into trouble.

His job nature requires he's meet and catch up with ladies and sometime I felt insecure. There's is a friend of mine ever said this when I was upset,

"Ask a pray to Allah, the Almighty. Because he is the key keeper towards his servant's heart"

I'm sicks of hearing people keep told me that our BGR won't and will never work out because he is non-Muslim. To be honest, I felt exactly in that way sometimes. There is a moment when I feel like I really need to put an end on this, walk away out of his life and give up on him. But I can't also turn my back on him because there is voice inside of me whispering, if Allah wanted to grant him with hidayah, He can grant him as he wish. 

When he isn't around in Malaysia, I wonder how is he doing? Can he really be loyal to me? And I'm stressing out alone here and start to feel insecure once again. I'll be silly by doubting him over and over.

Babe, there future ahead us is isn't clear. Being with you all these year was the greatest moments ever happened in my life and I want you to know that I'll never give up on you. Let's put an ultimate trust in Allah. Hey! Check up the birthday post 14weeks ago nau. You want to die is it? 

I Love You, Baby

Monday, December 21, 2015


All praise is due to Allah SWT, Alhamdulliah. The 14th weeks has been wrapped up and I'm in study week. And not to mentioned, I still got Individual Test for the subjects electronic Records. Took me long enough before I get the freedom. Last paper  is on 11th January 2016. *sigh*
Yesterday's night, there is something terrible happened to me, technically it does happened to Kak Syada. We've taken Html subject for this semester and we need to upload the final projects to our lecturer. It was limited coverage and the senior recommended us to upload it through UiTM's wifi line. So I, Faezah and KAk Syada went to library for the sake of uploading it. 

At 8.15 pm, I started to whined as I'm starving and Kak Syada need to leave for a while to settle the Commander's stuff with her other friends. so, she just stopped by and help me out with my individual assignment. She does almost all things, when I started to messed up things. I drag my folder but I paste it nowhere. -_-". Told yaaa I'm starving. She ended up uploaded assignment on my behalf. She taught me how to login into server with all the port, passwords and all the procedures. Then, she left me and Faezah to finished up our works and we're up to a promise of having late dinner together on 10 pm.

After she left, I turn my focus on my assignment by putting aside my phone. I'll not even peep on my phone once I'm on my assignments. Clock is tickling. Suddenly, Faezah showed me her handphone, showing a Class group's  Whatsapp conversation which then caused me speechless and  my brain was hang. About 2-3 minutes, me and Faezah stares to each other and don't really know what to do. I called Kak Syada and when she spoke to me, I can really tell she was crying. At that moment, I was about the curse out loud when Kak Syada said

" Ain jangan cakap apa2. Biar akak jawab."

Screenshot of the earlier conversation. I'd only took the most polite one. There's vulgarities and immoral way of talk through it. Siaw

ACCIDENTALLY, Kak Syada deleted the folder at the server. Yes, all of it( That's includes hers and our as well). It was accident and she didn't do it on purpose. I was beside her, and of course I was looking at her because I don't know how to upload our projects into the server. There's a girl taught Kak Syada and she just followed the steps. Okay, it's her fault but I don't think spitting a cursed to her with means curses and vulgarities will eventually  solves the messes. Why can't people being irrational at this rate? I'd be mad as well if I was knowing there is about 3 hours left for uploading the project before the time is off when uploaded projects in gone, for sure I'll go mad. But my madness is definitely not to the extend of cursing someone with those F****** shit words. Why they should tekan her even more after she admit her mistake and willing up to take the responsibilities for the whole class.

At one point I'm glad that kind of things happened as well. At least I know who can be truly friends or just a damn-shit-fake people with self bloody individualism to score that so called Dean List without any consideration towards other. This is stupid, I can't believe there is pathetic people to ever wanted  apply kasta tradition in University. OHHH. I'm good with score, so I'll be in A class and since you're bad, so stay at class B. Lame mehh! Wake up your ideas mate. Knowledge is Allah's. I know you strives to get it, but don't be way to arrogant. 

I re-checked my projects then rushed towards's Kak Syada's home. She looks terrible and not even take off her tudung. Sat at the corner of her house while texting and tried to reach Sir( keep apologizing to the other classmate as well). We're helping to re-upload the classmate's projects and then Ida and Faezah came as well to helps.  We left Kak's house around 2 am. We ended up having nothing for our late dinner, not even supper because everyone seems to lost their appetite. That's including me okay!

Sometimes, I prefer to use vulgarities and mean words in English rather than Malay. No offences, but Malay words somehow can be cruel enough. Maybe it is because Malay is our main proficiency of communication? Well, I don't know. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't like I'm encouraging you to curse or what, just be sensitives towards others. Don't be selfish. Whatever it is, no matter who'd have spoken those words towards Kak Syada, well done peeps. That will be never something I'll forget in hurry.  
It always better to know our own enemies rather than friends who pretended to be nice in front of us, but being such as bitch women on our back.


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